I choose to defy expectations

This week (9 September-15 September) is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. in honour of this I have chosen to write about being a medical student with lupus.

I don't usually tell people in real life that I have lupus,mainly because I don't want sympathy and other times its because i am avoiding insensitive comments.Insensitive comments are part of life, but I find the ones where people tell me what they expect me to do to be the most frustrating.

Here are a few things that have actually been said to me,and my replies.

How can you be a doctor? Shouldn't you have let someone more able take your place at medical school after all you can't offer that much?
 My medical school is aware that I have SLE, they believe in me and they are very supportive. Most of the time I am healthy and fit,but occasionally I do take time off. I realise that I may contribute less working days over my life, but I have lots to offer.Maybe having lupus means I will be able to show much more empathy to my patients

Oh, you have lupus? I know someone that died at 30(insert other really young age here) are ready to die?
Yes, i do have lupus.I am 20,I do not intend to die at any point in the near future,besides treatments have improved, and some people are more severely affected than others.
I am not delusional,and I do not think I am immortal,but I am not at deaths door.Please realise that I am probably more aware of my prognosis than you are.

You have lupus, its ok if you hand your work in late people will understand.
Maybe they will understand, but having lupus is not an excuse to be lazy.I will try my best in everything I do. So far ,i have never handed in a piece of uni work in late,and I don't intend to unless it is absolutely necessary. I can compete with non lupies, and I will.

Being ill must be really tough, you must hate talking about it,it must be so hard for you!
I neither like nor dislike talking about my illness.I don't mind answering questions, I would rather answer questions than have people tip-toe-ing around me unnecessarily.I want to raise awareness of invisible illnesses ,if talking about myself helps, then I don't mind doing it.

Please don't put me in a box. Everyone with an invisible illness is different, get to know them individually,before you decide what is expected from them

Sometimes I will exceed expectations, and thats great.

Other times I will fail to meet them,and whilst I am sorry.I have come to realise that I can only try my best,but i am not a super hero,I have limitations and I can not be perfect.

I CHOOSE TO TRY MY BEST AT EVERYTHING.

That question...

What are you studying?

Some of you may love to be asked this question,you may see it as a chance to show off ,or you may be proud of your achievement.(if your a male fresher you may even use it to pick up girls)

I personally despise this question. Its on the same level as other awkward questions such as are you pregnant or fat and when are you getting married.

Reasons I dont like this question

5.Its un-pc to say, "oh you soooo stupid"
I am not an arrogant person, but inevitably you get aunts,uncles, people at church, and even people in Tesco asking what do you study,and it goes something like this
Great Aunt Glenda: so what are you studyingMe: MedicineGreat Aunt Glenda: Ohhh you must be soooo smart.
Yes,med students are smart, but there is no need to act shocked. And how do you respond to that? If you say yes,it could be rude.Choosing to reply with 'not really' prolongs the conversation.And you most definitely can not say "oh you're so stupid" in the exact tone they used

4. Expectations
For some reason I am still surprised I actually got into medical school.I am surrounded by at least 100 other smart or hardworking people.Since starting med school,i have actually had to work and put effort into staying at the top of the class. I don't want people expecting anything from me incase I fall short of their expectations

3. I am a medical student not a doctor
Inevitably someone is going to have a medical problem,and they will ask what I suggest as a treatment.I am a student not a qualified doctor,its highly likely I can't even diagnose your problem.When I become a doctor I suppose this will become a more frequent occurrence.*sigh*

2.The questions
People just love to ask questions.Now before you think I am a grumpy grouch old woman, normally I welcome questions and love answering them. Some questions I get however are blegh. Eg:

• So do you want to be a nurse?
   Doctors study medicine,nurses study nursing
• Can you should speak to my son/daughter I want them to be a doctor?
  If your son/daughter wants to know what med school is like they can talk to me.Harassing teens and forcing them to consider medicine is not cool.Studying medicine is hard at times,if you do not have a desire to be a doctor you will suffer
• So do you want to be a doctor?
  Seriously??

1. IT IS NOBODIES BUSINESS
I hope this does not come across as rude or arrogant,but if it was relevant to your life you wouldnt need to ask. I am shy,I hate drawing attention to myself .Saying you are studying medicine puts you in the metaphorical spotlight.

In some cultures parents dream of their kids growing up and becomeing doctors or lawyers. So when you actually get into medical school you become " the girl that studies medicine"

One of my best friends a fellow medical student also sews,she was wearing a dress she made.When someone found out she had made it their reaction was  " *gasp* But don't you study medicine?"

Studying medicine and having a life are not mutually exclusive things. Medical school is a huge part of my life,but its not all of my life.I had a life before medical school, I still have hobbies, interests and a name!!

So from this point forward if any one asks....I study something science-y

Resolutions for the New Academic Year

Beginning a New Year...


September is the time students a new academic year. Some may be brand new freshers,others returning students.

I sit in my room contemplating what to write in my brand new academic planner, (its lego,because I adore lego blocks)the first day of another new school year, whilst sipping my mocha. The year is off to an auspicious start: I’ve set my alarm sufficiently early to allow for quiet prayer time and reflection before getting dressed and packing my bag.



My backpack hangs behind my my door ready to be filled with folders,and textbooks. The pencils are sharpened to a deadly point with not a single eraser chewed off yet, fountain pens are cleaned and filled with new ink cartriges. Summer clothes have been folded and packed away, allowing me to easily select uni outfits. I feel ready – at least for the first day of class.

In my quiet time, I contemplate how to make this the best academic year ever. I face the logistical challenge of living off campus. Student life has pampered me and the idea of living more than 10 minutes walk away from my lectures seems like a great hardship.

In my own life, I find great value in setting and actively pursuing resolutions, defined goals, to achieve desired results. I don’t wait for 31 December to set resolutions – it can happen at the start of a new academic year, the beginning of a month, or even at the start of a season.

My hopes for the school year remain the same year after year. I hope this will be a year filled with spiritual and academic growth, and fun times with friends.

My new academic year resolutions are:

1.Be organised to ensure I get to class on time
2.Maintain my A average
3.Exercise  regularly (studies have shown that exercise improves cognitive function)
4.Try to get a research placement,or some extra GP shadowing next summer( will need to start emailing people ASAP )